Okay, I know I’ve got some explaining to do. I also know before I went on hiatus, it seemed like every review either began or ended with me having some explaining to do and you’re probably sick to the back teeth of hearing it, so I’ll keep this brief.

The long and short of it is- I fucked up. I was trying to do a few things at once, which isn’t a bad thing OR impossible, but my work habits have never been all that professional to begin with, and I just fell apart. It didn’t help either that because I felt bad, I started making insane promises to make up for it (I can’t believe the last review on my old site ended with me saying I was going to do eight reviews in a month. What the FUCK was I thinking?). There was other stuff too, but we won’t go there (I’m doing you a favour here, believe me).

I never really gave up on this project though. I still had all the movies I wanted to cover stored away in a box, and occasionally purchased others I thought looked like they’d be fun to write about.  I’d even sometimes go to my page and read my own reviews (this was out of nostalgia and not vanity, I hasten to add; I disliked them so much I… well, we’ll get to that). I wanted to start up again, but by that point I’d left it for so long I was, well, a little bit EMBARRASSED about starting up again. So, I decided if I couldn’t start UP again, I’d just start OVER. Which resulted in what you’re looking at now, a brand new site on a brand new blogging platform (I’d had it up to here with Blogger).

I suppose this is the part where I should assume there a few people reading this that have no idea what I’m talking about. I call myself The Cheap-Arse Film Critic, and do that because I’m clinically insane. No not really, it’s because I write long, spoilerific reviews of cheap movies (MAXIMUM I’M WILLING TO PAY FOR A DVD: £1.00) that I either like and keep, or hate and throw away. And that’s what I’m going to keep doing here. The only thing that’s really going to change is the schedule for when I publish something. I think the (almost) weekly timeframe of before also contributed to me burning out, so I’ve decided to go with something that’s a little more forgiving and flexible. The set-up is this- there will, hopefully, never be a wait longer than two weeks between reviews. Whatever date the last one went up, the longest you’ll have to wait is a fortnight from then. However, if I watch a film and really have alot to say about it, then I won’t wait. It could be that you’ll see reviews go up as little as two days apart from one another if I feel like it (I really wouldn’t put money on this though). I’m hoping that by putting slightly less pressure on myself I’ll feel inspired to do more, and quicker, because I’m not against an overly-oppressive clock. And let’s be honest, it won’t hurt page views either to potentially have a new review up at any time, will it?

For those that want to check out my older stuff, my Blogger site shouldn’t be that hard to find. I’m also undertaking a project where take my old reviews, give them a bit of a spit-shine and repost them in a more professional-reading form. It’s something I’d wanted to do for a while. Basically I’m a horrible editor, missing all sorts of spelling and grammar mistakes, and also some of them were, in my opinion, just quite badly written. I’m calling this THE CHEAP-ARSE FILM REVIEW REMAKE, and the link to it can be found at the top of the page. I currently have five reviews up, and want to get more done over time. Speaking of links, whilst there you’ll also find gateways to my Twitter profile (feel free to follow me, but be warned- I Tweet alot)(I mean ALOT), my Facebook Fanpage (which is pretty much dead if I’m honest, but I’m hoping to revive it soon), and my brand-spanking new Formspring profile (ASK ME ANYTHING!*)(*I reserve the right to ignore your question). I’ve also set it up so you can comment on all my posts on both blogs, so feel free to do that too. I think you might have to sign up to Disqus to do that, but it’s free so that’s cool. Then again you might not. I don’t really know how this works. Just, y’know… comments are nice.

Well, that’s pretty much it. The new review should be up Saturday at the latest, and I’ve a feeling it’s going to be quite the comeback. It was amazing going through that box of films, because I realized how many I’d bought out of habit alone and couldn’t muster any enthusiasm to even watch, let alone write about. I mean, I bought JFK. Could you imagine a review of JFK WRITTEN BY ME? Christ. So in the spirit of renewal, I got rid of 95% of what I’d stockpiled, only keeping a few I had good feelings about that’d tide me over until I went back on the hunt. That’s the bit I’m looking forward to the most.

Anyway, until the review’s posted, I’m The Cheap-Arse Film Critic, and… I can’t think of a decent film-quote to sign off with here. Fuck. Leave me alone, it’s been a while and I’m out of practice.